A Reflection on Writing, Criticism, and Growth

Sometimes, we meet people who unintentionally challenge our sense of self, their presence filling the room with an energy that feels overpowering, their words carrying a weight that lingers long after the conversation has ended, especially when it comes to something as personal as writing. The hum of conversation in our writing group, the flicker of screens, and the rustle of notes are usually comforting, but recently, I’ve found myself grappling with feelings of discomfort toward someone in the group. Not because they have done something explicitly harmful, but because their energy, their confidence, and their approach to feedback seem to clash with my own sensibilities.

She presents herself as someone who knows more than others, and perhaps she does, her experience as a journalist adds weight to her words. But what truly unsettled me was her inability to finish reading my excerpt, dismissing it because she didn’t like its tone, calling it too miserable. That moment stung. Writing workshops are meant to honor different styles, embracing differences even when they don’t align with our tastes. Her reaction felt like a rejection, and I found myself questioning my style and my worth as a writer.

I’ve come to realize that my response to her feedback is deeply rooted in my love for my writing style, poetic, introspective, and layered. I don’t just write to tell a story; I write to evoke emotion, to create a world that lingers beyond the page. Her preference for direct, action-based storytelling feels almost like an attack, even though, deep down, I know it’s just a difference in taste.

Why does it bother me so much? Perhaps it’s because I want validation. A part of me desires for everyone, even those with vastly different perspectives, to appreciate my work. But the truth is, not everyone will, and that’s okay.

It’s also made me confront an underlying fear, what if more people think like her? What if my style is too niche? What if I need to change it to be published? But as I reflect, I realize that writing is not about conforming to what others expect; it’s about staying true to my vision while remaining open to constructive growth.

Dealing with emotional boundaries in a writing group can be tough, especially when someone’s feedback feels invasive. But I’ve learned a few strategies that help:

1. Detachment Through Objectivity – Instead of absorbing feedback as a personal judgment, I remind myself that it’s one person’s perspective, not an absolute truth.
2. Selective Absorption – Taking in what resonates and leaving behind what doesn’t serve my creative growth.
3. Centering on My “Why” – Staying connected to why I write in the first place, which helps diminish the power of external criticism.
4. Gratitude for Diversity – Seeing different opinions as an opportunity to refine my confidence, rather than a threat to it.

Ultimately, this experience is teaching me to trust my voice, to allow my style to evolve organically, and to accept that not everyone will resonate with my work, and that’s okay. I am learning that staying true to my creative vision brings fulfillment, and with persistence, the right audience will embrace my work in ways I never expected.

So, as I continue in this writing group, I choose to focus on what uplifts me, to let go of what does not, and to remind myself that every voice, mine included, deserves space.

#WritingCommunity #PersonalGrowth #CreativeJourney #TrustYourVoice #OvercomingDoubt #StayTrueToYourself #PoeticWriting #SelfReflection #AmaraHartwood